Holy mother of god

It has been a while.

I just read a few entries back and wow, 2012 was not a good year for me. I don't remember much of what I was even writing about (I am surprisingly cryptic, even when I'm pouring my heart out on the Internet). But things are better now! Three years on, I'm happily married, have made it through 8 out of 10 weeks of OCS my second try, and have made many more dolls. I'm in a better place. A good place. Mentally and physically stronger, but less of an idealist.

I don't have a place where I post personal things really, my website is my portfolio and Tumblr is a silly place. And lord do I miss this place sometimes-- it isn't the same, of course. It will never be what it was to me six years ago, but maybe it can be something again. Tumblr and Facebook are incredibly lacking in many areas.
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After several more disasters with the kiln since leaving school I've been forced to set porcelain aside for the time being. However that is not to say I've given up-- far from it. Instead I will focus on making more prototypes and on perfecting plaster mold-making, since the first attempts were... flawed, to say the least.

Currently working on a female (inspired by the likes of crazy awesome Russian artists Bychkova and Popova) and a 1/12 scale male, along with nearly a dozen heads in various scales. The porcelain project has been with me for so long that I'm rather tired of it, to be frank, and I need to sculpt more than I need to make molds and futz around with the kiln.

With that in mind I don't think this will ever become a financially fruitful enterprise for me. I have a good business mind, but combine that with my artistic side and there's disaster. Setting deadlines and projecting results on a piece takes the joy out of it for me. Call it lack of discipline if you will, I just find that sculpting can't be forced. It's sort of like entering a meditative mindset, requires you to clear your mind of anything but the current face or joint or whatever you're working on. I'm not always mentally prepared to dive in. And the idea of selling my work utterly killed my inspiration.... as much as I love that one project, thinking about ways to make it sellable took a lot out of it.

Oh, yeah. And I finally found my long-lost bag of paints which cost me $250. I was reluctant to buy a new set for two years because, well, knowing that I had $250 worth of paint floating around somewhere already rather prevented me. I might start painting stuff. Woo.

Well that's it for my small art world. Hope that anyone still around to read this is doing well. (Swear to god, blogging on LJ feels like sending out an end-of-the-world radio broadcast. Hello, this is Combat, if there is anyone left alive out there, please respond.)

People who call themselves 'asshole' on the Internet

Are never actually assholes. People who call themselves trolls are not trolls, same goes for people who call themselves 'sarcastic and brutally honest.' At best, they are a little witty, perhaps with a more crude sense of humor than is common and a self-imposed sense of being an 'outsider.'

Usually, they are nice people who don't want to be nice people. They are frustrated with being boring nice people, and want to convince themselves that they are in fact more interesting than they are. They want to be badass and respected, but alas, the moment a person advertises themselves as an 'asshole,' the attempt at the illusion has already defeated itself. In the same way that alpha males never have to tell anyone they're alpha males, real assholes never have to announce the fact like it's some kind of cool-kid badge.

So please, 'assholes' and 'trolls' and 'brutally honest' people of the world, stop. Just stop. You don't sound cool. You sound pathetic.

Today is a good day!

For today is the birthday of one of my favorite people in the world, grace_poppy. (Mind, I do know a lot of people, so it takes a special brand of loveliness, loveliness in a fluffy, moist kind of a way, to be a favorite.)


Spring break is here! And this means that I have been prepping my prototype's parts for mold-making, taking advantage of the week-long uninterrupted stretch of gold that spring break is. Turns out that my school has two kilns, both of which are capable of reaching and sustaining the high temperatures demanded by porcelain, so I will be casting my work in porcelain after all. As I have no experience in any part of this (neither of plaster mold-making, nor of casting in porcelain slip, nary a drop of knowledge concerning sanding and polishing greenware, least of all of firing it) this will be, ah, a 'learning experience.'

I will document this process every step of the way. Finding information on the whole journey from prototype to porcelain is pretty difficult; a lot of knowledge is assumed, which makes breaking into this industry a difficult business of trial and error; so in the hope of aiding future artists, here is my first post.

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Many image'd post

In order to prevent this from becoming a gripey post about the woes of printing, I'll just let them speak for themselves. I apologize for the image quality; there is no light in my hole of a room, and I haven't been storing the prints properly so they don't lay flat. The colors are brighter in real life. Also, none of these prints were the best of the edition (perfect registration, that is.) Those are currently hanging in the art building somewhere.

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Add me!

Woo, I'm on Dreamwidth now. RE my layout, no, I don't like change. RE my username, 'captainamerica,' I got it a while ago while DW was still in its inception, intending to use it for roleplaying purposes. Unfortunately everything seems to have changed (oh, for a decent Tony Stark) and I don't even know where to start with all that.

I also caved and got a Tumblr, though I still don't know what the thing's for. They don't seem to be for blogs, rather for copying other people's content. And there is no comment option, and one can't tell when things were posted, o, a nightmare. By Jove, whatever will they think of next.